"Why?" - noun: a question concerning the cause or reason for which something is done, achieved, etc.: a child's unending hows and whys.
Each and every day I am asked a question by my daughter and more often than not, I do not react well to the question. To me, as an adult, I seem to be more caught up in the fact that the question is rather silly. I forget too quickly that a three year old's mind is still forming truths and opinions. That every new visual or experience is a wonder and causes various levels of excitement.
Earlier today, my wife attended the first "parent-teacher" conference for Isabelle. She called me afterwards to share the information that she received. They told her that Isabelle is a very attentive, social child, who loves to sing for the class any new song she learns. She enjoys talking about her grandparents and the adventures she has living with my parents. She finds books on her own and chooses to either "read" them herself, or have the teacher read them. She is a very detail oriented child who notices everything - even down to the minute details of which teacher is in charge of crafts that particular day. She also loves to ask "why", a lot. The part that surprised me is this: apparently teachers love that! They appreciate a child who is attentive to the details and wants to know more about what is going on in their world. Teachers like to see a child who will not give up if the first answer to a question is not satisfactory. They love teaching, answering questions...
Knowing my reactions to Isabelle's questions, I was ashamed of the way I've been as a father. There have been times when I would just answer her with the basic, "that’s the way God made it"…which I now realize probably sounds like this: "it is what it is, now stop bothering me". Isabelle's learning and development is paramount to me, and my interest and subsequent answers to her questions are to be more loving. One of her latest questions had me rolling with laughter - we were driving to church and she noticed some cell phone towers, the conversation went like this:
Izzy: "dada, what are those?"
Me: "cell phone towers"
Izzy: "but there are no cell phones on that tower…"
Me (trying to suppress laughter and figure out the right way to answer): "no honey, cell phone towers allow us to make calls by sending out little waves that you can't see…"
Susan: "what dada is trying to say is that we don’t know the answer and that’s the way God made it, would you like to listen to some music?"
In the business world it's easy for me to accept some things as "that's just the way it is" and move on and I'm sure I apply that mindset to my life as a father and husband. I realized something else - asking "why" shows your vulnerability - and that's not always a thing to look down upon. Showing vulnerability like a child shows you're willing to learn, willing to listen and be coached. It shows that you're willing to challenge yourself and rock your world - because you don't know what the answer is going to be. For a child that's easy, right? They are just starting to learn shame and have no concept of applying shame when asking questions. Everything to them is new and exciting and worthy of a question.
Then I started thinking about my life as a Christian - I don't ask "why" enough…I don't make myself vulnerable to God. I don't seek God's answers to my questions consistently enough. By that, I mean I don't spend the time alone with God asking Him my questions and presenting Him my thoughts. Christ wants me to continually ask Him questions and to rock my world with His answer. Just like Isabelle, I want my curiosities answered and our Father wants to answer them.
So, how often do you find yourself asking "why"?
