My dad's eulogy for his Father

I wanted to share my dad's eulogy from his dad's wake service. As with my eulogy, this mode of documentation is not necessarily to broadcast on the internet for wide distribution, but rather to be a record of what a great influence my grandfather had on his family. I pray that my impact on my children and their children will be even a fraction of how much appachen impacted us.

Remembering our beloved Achayan

I remember my grandmother telling me that when my brother was born, her brother’s family came to visit and exclaimed how handsome the baby was. I did not think much of it then other than may be feeling a little jealousy within me.  But the other day my youngest brother-in-law stated that my father was photogenic. I never thought of it like that. Now I know why my brother was so handsome and my sisters are so beautiful. Look at him, look at the pictures of him, he is indeed handsome... and my mother is beautiful too.

We praise God for the divine grace that was present in the life of our beloved father.

The presence of you all as we bid farewell to him enriches that dear life further.

Even though, for the last few months he had to suffer much pain from the effects of prostate cancer and had to be hospitalized on several occasions, in the end, he was able to rest in the house for a week and enjoy the presence of all children and grandchildren.  God also enabled all of us to be with our father during this time and be on his side.

On Friday, February 22 around 11:30 am Rev. Daniel Thomas and Rev. Biju P. Simon of the Chicago Mar Thoma church along with our friend Kunju (Mr. Iype George) and Susy visited Achayan in the home and prayed and afterwards all children gathered around and sang his favorite Malayalam song and during that time he started his journey to the heavenly place. We praise God for providing such a glorious experience to Achayan and us.

A few hours after receiving this news, our beloved uncle T.A. George (our mother’s eldest brother) also went to heaven in Kadammanitta, Kerala. Our father and our uncle lived in the same place (next door to each other) for almost 65 years.  In Kadammanitta, friends and neighbors and the community are mourning for both of them and newspapers and posters are reporting both deaths.

We express our sincere thanks to all relatives, friends and fellow believers who visited achayan in hospitals, nursing home and our home and provided fellowship and support to achayan and us.

I 'd like us to sing a few of achayan’s favorite Malayalam songs and the ones that reflect our strong hope that we will meet him on that beautiful shore when Christ comes again.  

“Diviamayulla manavarae, Devam namukkai orrukkidunnu“
(God prepares a divine bridal chamber for us)

“Than kaikal kannuneer thudakkum
santhapangal pariharikkum
Lokathe neethiyil bharikkum
Soka pperumakal nasikkum”
(His hand will wipe away all tears, remove all sorrows, rule the world justly and
all suffuring and mourning will end)

“Yesu manavalan namme cherkuvan...madiya vanil vellippeduvan
Kalam asannamai preyare, orungam visudhiyode “
(Jesus the bridegroom will soon appear in the mid heaven to receive us, so beloved let us prepare ourselves)

Our father was the youngest of six siblings: 2 brothers and 3 sisters. His mother passed away when he was two and a half years old and his father, siblings and relatives raised his. They came from Ranni, Odikkandathil , an ordinary middle class family.

After school education he joined his brother at the Cheruvally rubber plantations and later married Annamma from Kadammanitta, Thokkanal family and established their home in Cheruvally. After a few years he moved to the Vaikundam rubber plantations (near Kulasekaram in Tamil Nadu). When I was about 2 years old, my uncle brought me and my mother back to Kadammanitta while achayan continued to work at Vaikundam. Later he moved to the rubber plantations in Trissur. As the children started their school education achayan moved back to Kadammanitta and worked in local rubber plantations and doing farming.

He sent all his children through school and college and insisted that we all studied hard. I remember him watching us in the night while we studied and made sure that we did not go back to sleep until we completed our home work and studies.

Achayan was just an ordinary farmer in mid- Travanore in Kerala. He struggled a lot during those years to put the children through a good education. I remember, once he fell into a deep well and was hospitalized for weeks. He developed chronic back pain from that incident and that was with him on and off till the end.

As I look back, my father was a true pilgrim (nomad). He moved from places to places. I remember going with him to most places he went (Vaikundam, Trissur etc.)  And later on he followed me to most places that I went (Cuddalore in Tamil Nadu, Bombay, and Chicago)

God gave him his beloved wife, 5 children, 10 grandchildren and 3 great-grand-children. He was blessed to see his legacy reach 4 generations. Our lives were forever influenced by his good qualities of life such as hard working, deep faith in God and a helping mentality.

For many years, achayan was a member of Kadammanitta Salem and Kadammanitta Kripapuram Mar Thoma churches. After moving to Chicago he continued to be part of the Chicago Mar Thoma church and later became a member of the Pentecostal faith.  He was a true man of God, who respected all servants of God and believers. He was respected by all in our communities in Kadammanitta and Chicago. He was diligent in helping families and friends who were in need, especially in Kerala.

During our earlier visits back home, achayan was the one who was making all arrangements as well as coming with us to various places that we visited. He also came with us as we drove around various places in US.

A few minutes before the end, his neighbors and relatives gathered in one of my uncle’s house in Kadammanitta and watched him via Skype. All of them were able to bid farewell to him even thogh he has unable to respond. As a token of respect and love towards achayan and our uncle, posters are displayed with their pictures and condolences and announcing funeral arrangements in our community in Kerala.

The wake service and funeral services are being broadcasted live and relatives and friends in Kerala and other parts are watching.
We praise God for the opportunity to share this blessed life of our beloved Achayan.

 “For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. – 1 Thessalonians 4: 16-17.”

This is our hope and we will meet our achayan again on that day.

Once again, we express our sincere thanks to all relatives, friends, God’s servants and faith community who visited, consoled and supported us during these difficult times.

+Susan Abraham +Abe Abraham +Jayne Abraham

Doing cartwheels with Appachen

My grandfather, M.A. Abraham, was called to glory on February 22, 2013. The following is the eulogy/remembrance I shared during his funeral service. I wanted to place it in this blog, so that I could share it with my family and friends. Someday, I want my kids to have this record of how great a man my grandfather was and to know that they're part of an amazingly blessed family. +Abe Abraham +Jayne Abraham +Susan Abraham

A few points/translations:
"Appacha/Appachen" is what we called our grandfather
"Veliya-Appacha" is what my kids called him (translates to great-grandfather)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On behalf of our family, I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your encouragement and support over these past few days. Your presence today shows your sincere desire to honor, respect and celebrate our grandfather’s life.

For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Jason Abraham and I am the son of T.A. Abraham, and appachen and ammachi’s oldest grandchild.

My grandfather was a special man – but it took me years to find that out. Not because he wasn’t always a wonderful man, but because we had a language barrier that made it difficult for me to talk with him. However, as sad as it is that I have never had a full conversation with my appachen, he and I had a way of just looking into each other’s eyes which translated into an unspeakable love and respect. As I watch Isabelle and Evan interact, talk and play with my dad today, I am saddened that I didn’t take advantage of the time that I had with my own grandfather over the years. Fortunately, these last few months have been a time of connection and love shared.

In fact, over the past Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays, one of my cousins, Priya, coordinated our family to get together and have all of the cousins share memories with appachen and ammachi and how much he means to us.

I’m thankful for Priya who graciously translated for me as I shared with Appachen how blessed I feel for his God-fearing legacy. As Chintu said so beautifully yesterday, we can be proud to be part of the generational blessing we have that starts with appachen. He taught us in so many ways across different eras. From the oldest (me) to the youngest (Vinay), from Isabelle to Michaela, he treated us all as his most precious treasures. He loved to spend time with all of us – regardless of whether or not we could speak his language.
Some of my memories of appachen are shared across all of us. It seems to me that we grandkids have a fondness for parotta, and appachen fulfilled that desire by having warm parotta ready for us each day. I loved banana chips and appacha would have chips ready for us when we arrived from America. As Roy mentioned last night, I had the privilege of standing and watching my grandfather prepare a chicken for dinner and then letting that chicken run around the yard with its head cut off. I was also reminded last night about those steps that Roy mentioned and watching those busses flying by on the unpaved road with their horns blaring. These memories will always remain and will remind me of what a loving and caring man he was.

Even though we didn’t have long conversations, appachen never let that affect the relationship we had and his deep love for me. And without speaking hardly any words, he taught me so many lessons on being a man who loves the Lord. One particular lesson that I have learned was about prayer. He has prayed for each and every one of us, by name multiple times, throughout his lifetime. As you have seen and heard and likely experienced first-hand, Appachen was a true warrior for God. His prayers resonated in our home; his words of encouragement to anyone in need were a shining example of how a godly man lives and humbly seeks after God.

Appachen could pray [literally] for 30 minutes straight, which felt like eternity as a kid…especially when there was a Bulls game on that I really wanted to see. As a young kid, that was painful…but 25 years later, those prayers remain in my heart. Recently, over the past few holidays or when our family would get together for a special occasion, I started recording only one thing – when appachen would pray. His words, his fervor, his passion in talking to his Heavenly Father will always be an example to me.

Another memory of him is that his smile lit up a room. As my dad mentioned yesterday, he has an amazing smile…as I was going through the hundreds of pictures that we have of him, one thing caught my attention...Appachen has a truly inspiring smile. His eyes light up and there is true joy within his soul. No matter the circumstance, no matter the situation you could sense the joy in his heart. Not the fickle happiness that we may experience from time to time. But true joy – the gift of the Holy Spirit that comes from a deep and meaningful relationship with God.

And he had much to be joyful for. His five children have grown to be accomplished in more than one way – in the church, in the workplace and through their own families. Joy because he was blessed with ten grandchildren who adore him and miss him so. What a blessing for us as a family that he was able to attend two of his grandchildren’s weddings and see 3 great-grandchildren born into this world. What a blessing for my dad to have appachen attend and celebrate his own retirement.

Susan and I loved to see his eyes light up with joy over these last several months when we would bring his great-grandkids, Isabelle and Evan, to the nursing home to just sit in the bed with him, draw pictures, sing him worship songs or just simply give him a hug.

As I think back on the life that appachen led, I’m reminded of the simplicity of this life. No phones, TVs, running water, the basic things we take for granted here. His life consisted of his family and his faith. What a great reminder that we are placed on this earth for only one purpose – to worship and serve our Almighty God; a purpose I too often allow the unimportant stuff to get in my way of worshipping and serving our God.

Some very dear friends of ours shared a children’s book with Isabelle and Evan to help them understand heaven a little bit in light of Appachen’s passing. A short section in the book reminded me of the life that appachen led – “sometimes we think we need stuff, but it’s just more weight for us to carry. Our best stuff doesn’t weigh anything at all – stuff like love, family, friends, and faith. That’s where our real blessings are.”

I’ll end with this last thought - there was something much more important to him than his family – his God.

Appachen was a child of God. He believed in the gospel.  He could have hope in his dark hours because of the promises that God made to him through the gospel. I am thankful that his children and grandchildren read him the Bible even when he couldn’t those days in the nursing home and hospital. I am thankful that the gates of Heaven opened and Jesus welcomed him as his children sang praise songs and prayed together to their Heavenly Father. I am thankful that he is now seeing the fulfillment of those hopes in Heaven. He is no longer struggling. He is no longer hurting. He will never hurt or fear again. He is in the land of blessing and unending joy. And knowing that gives me great encouragement and peace. I encourage you to have faith as he did, and draw strength from the gospel as he did. We will greatly miss him, but what a blessing to know that his time here with us is only a “hallway” to the amazing celebration he’s experiencing in heaven for all eternity.

When we told Evan that veliya-appacha was in heaven, he said two things:

        1) Susan likes to teach the kids worship songs and Evan has recently learned a song that he continues to sing the chorus to. During our bedtime prayer the night before Appachen passed, I reminded Evan to pray for veliya-appacha and that he wasn’t doing well. Evan looked me in the eyes and sang – “there may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning…” - It amazes me how God uses even my 3 year old to speak truth to me.

         2) When we told both kids that appachan was in heaven, Evan immediately said that he wanted to go there right then and there. Part of the reason he wanted to go there might have been because we mentioned that veliya-appacha was probably doing cartwheels with Jesus – but nonetheless, his desire to be with his veliya-appacha is shared by all of his family. What a blessing it is, as a family, to have that promise and hope that one day we’ll be doing cartwheels with appacha.  Dancing with our heavenly Father – a place where there is no pain, no fear, and no worry – just pure joy.

I swell with pride with the thought of how many lives that appachen has impacted. Just witnessing the wake yesterday and you all here is a testament to his strong faith and commitment to you all. However, I’m reminded that I should not be proud of my appachen as much as I should boast in Christ at the work he did through my appachen.

Thank you and God bless.

 

Have you experienced something wonderful?

Lately I've been thinking much more about how to take my Agency to the next level. Those of you that read this blog, as sporadic as it is, know me to be a fairly honest and fun guy. I try to include those characteristics into my business as well. However, after attending some meetings recently, I've noticed that the fun has turned into something...well, less fun. I've gotten myself mired into the details. I've worried about things that are not in my control. I've lost sight of why I chose to enter this great career...providing an experience while helping people realize the risks of everyday life and to realize their dreams.

I went to a restaurant awhile ago and I still remember vividly the attention to detail the staff showed. I had my car washed at a local car wash and I was blown away by the level of detail that my car received. These two simple examples were not about great service, they were truly an experience. I went away from those businesses and knew that there was a level of excellence that the owners wanted to show their customers. That business owner understood what his or her customers wanted. Sure, great food or a clean car was the ultimate goal...but the steps to get to that goal was what I remembered the most.

Have you experienced something that just blew your mind, made you walk away and think...wow, what an experience?

Leave a comment and let's talk about experiences.

Your SurePayroll Story | Jason Testimonial

Your SurePayroll Story |  Jason Testimonial

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I'm back!

I think I've proven my ineptness at being a good blogger...it seems as though my posts usually start out with the phrase: "well, its been ____ number of days/weeks/months since I last posted..." Pretty predictable, huh?

A few updates and I'll allow you to move on with your day:

1. 2010 arrived. I did not do so well on my Holiday Challenge. I will try harder.
2. Apple announced the iPad. I might get one. Depends on a few variables.
3. The Jason Abraham State Farm Agency opened on March 1!

March 1: This was the official opening date of the Jason Abraham Agency. As you may know, this has been a long process. The training and preparations started in May of 2008. In all honesty, there have been moments of doubt, there have been moments of frustration, there have been moments of anxiety - and now we are in the midst of the most wild ride we could imagine!

I have a team of three wonderful individuals who are driving the everyday activity in the office. We are slowly writing business...but more importantly we are making an impact in our community.

Lastly - this blog will continue to sporadically chronicle our family's re-root in Chicago...but now that we are here, I will probably start to blog more about Insurance & Financial Services related items. If you have any questions, please leave a comment and I will answer your questions to the best of my ability.

{Become a fan on Facebook...follow me on Twitter (@SFAgentJason) - link right over there...}

Holiday Challenge

I'm a regular reader of Carlos Whitaker (ragamuffinsoul.com) and one of his recent posts really intrigued me. As some of you may know, I'm into challenges...weight loss competitions really get me going, not to mention the prize money. Earlier this year (January to March), I lost a significant amount of weight. I had a commitment & challenged myself to create a healthy habit. Well, I created a healthy habit for 90 days, but after that, I made excuses to myself and fell off the proverbial wagon. My thoughts were, I can lose the weight real fast - let me have that donut with my sugar-laden coffee. For me, without the challenge or competition aspect, I really lose focus and find myself getting back into bad habits (starbucks drinks, over indulgence at the dinner table, desserts of all sorts, losing focus on God, losing focus on my wife and kids).

Well, Carlos, laid it out there for me and I intend to use this last month of the year to focus on three benchmarks (physical, spiritual and relational), and carry it forward into 2010.

You heard about that worship leader getting drunk that night and rolled your eyes…
That pastor who has been flirting with his secretary makes you nauseous…
You can’t believe they let their kids get away with that…

All the while, from Thanksgiving to New Years, you live the most hypocritical life imaginable.
You stuff your face with food till you can’t walk, multiple times, and gain some lbs. in the process.
You let your serving God replace your knowing God.
You ignore your family because you are too busy volunteering and helping someone else.

I see no difference between the first list and the second list.
So let’s stop using the holidays as an excuse to stop being healthy.
Let’s kick off this season with 30 days of physical, spiritual, and emotional health.

My three goals:
1. Physical - lose 10 pounds this month
2. Spiritual - memorize 2 verses per week, I'm planning on focusing on these, affecting my life now:

John 16:33, 2 Tim 1:7, Psalm 55:22, Isaiah 41:10, Proverbs 13:11, Luke 16:10, 2 Corinthians 9:8, Philippians 4:6

3. Relational - (admittedly, stolen/borrowed from Carlos) - go on 2 dates with my wife and daughter, each.

Twice a week I intend to update you all via this blog and/or twitter on my progress. Intrigued?

Ready? Set. Go. Here's to a tremendous December.
Jason

Why?

"Why?" - noun: a question concerning the cause or reason for which something is done, achieved, etc.: a child's unending hows and whys.

Each and every day I am asked a question by my daughter and more often than not, I do not react well to the question. To me, as an adult, I seem to be more caught up in the fact that the question is rather silly. I forget too quickly that a three year old's mind is still forming truths and opinions. That every new visual or experience is a wonder and causes various levels of excitement.

Earlier today, my wife attended the first "parent-teacher" conference for Isabelle. She called me afterwards to share the information that she received. They told her that Isabelle is a very attentive, social child, who loves to sing for the class any new song she learns. She enjoys talking about her grandparents and the adventures she has living with my parents. She finds books on her own and chooses to either "read" them herself, or have the teacher read them. She is a very detail oriented child who notices everything - even down to the minute details of which teacher is in charge of crafts that particular day. She also loves to ask "why", a lot. The part that surprised me is this: apparently teachers love that! They appreciate a child who is attentive to the details and wants to know more about what is going on in their world. Teachers like to see a child who will not give up if the first answer to a question is not satisfactory. They love teaching, answering questions...

Knowing my reactions to Isabelle's questions, I was ashamed of the way I've been as a father. There have been times when I would just answer her with the basic, "that’s the way God made it"…which I now realize probably sounds like this: "it is what it is, now stop bothering me". Isabelle's learning and development is paramount to me, and my interest and subsequent answers to her questions are to be more loving. One of her latest questions had me rolling with laughter - we were driving to church and she noticed some cell phone towers, the conversation went like this:

Izzy: "dada, what are those?"
Me: "cell phone towers"
Izzy: "but there are no cell phones on that tower…"
Me (trying to suppress laughter and figure out the right way to answer): "no honey, cell phone towers allow us to make calls by sending out little waves that you can't see…"
Susan: "what dada is trying to say is that we don’t know the answer and that’s the way God made it, would you like to listen to some music?"

In the business world it's easy for me to accept some things as "that's just the way it is" and move on and I'm sure I apply that mindset to my life as a father and husband. I realized something else - asking "why" shows your vulnerability - and that's not always a thing to look down upon. Showing vulnerability like a child shows you're willing to learn, willing to listen and be coached. It shows that you're willing to challenge yourself and rock your world - because you don't know what the answer is going to be. For a child that's easy, right? They are just starting to learn shame and have no concept of applying shame when asking questions. Everything to them is new and exciting and worthy of a question.

Then I started thinking about my life as a Christian - I don't ask "why" enough…I don't make myself vulnerable to God. I don't seek God's answers to my questions consistently enough. By that, I mean I don't spend the time alone with God asking Him my questions and presenting Him my thoughts. Christ wants me to continually ask Him questions and to rock my world with His answer. Just like Isabelle, I want my curiosities answered and our Father wants to answer them.

So, how often do you find yourself asking "why"?