Doing cartwheels with Appachen

My grandfather, M.A. Abraham, was called to glory on February 22, 2013. The following is the eulogy/remembrance I shared during his funeral service. I wanted to place it in this blog, so that I could share it with my family and friends. Someday, I want my kids to have this record of how great a man my grandfather was and to know that they're part of an amazingly blessed family. +Abe Abraham +Jayne Abraham +Susan Abraham

A few points/translations:
"Appacha/Appachen" is what we called our grandfather
"Veliya-Appacha" is what my kids called him (translates to great-grandfather)

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On behalf of our family, I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your encouragement and support over these past few days. Your presence today shows your sincere desire to honor, respect and celebrate our grandfather’s life.

For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Jason Abraham and I am the son of T.A. Abraham, and appachen and ammachi’s oldest grandchild.

My grandfather was a special man – but it took me years to find that out. Not because he wasn’t always a wonderful man, but because we had a language barrier that made it difficult for me to talk with him. However, as sad as it is that I have never had a full conversation with my appachen, he and I had a way of just looking into each other’s eyes which translated into an unspeakable love and respect. As I watch Isabelle and Evan interact, talk and play with my dad today, I am saddened that I didn’t take advantage of the time that I had with my own grandfather over the years. Fortunately, these last few months have been a time of connection and love shared.

In fact, over the past Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays, one of my cousins, Priya, coordinated our family to get together and have all of the cousins share memories with appachen and ammachi and how much he means to us.

I’m thankful for Priya who graciously translated for me as I shared with Appachen how blessed I feel for his God-fearing legacy. As Chintu said so beautifully yesterday, we can be proud to be part of the generational blessing we have that starts with appachen. He taught us in so many ways across different eras. From the oldest (me) to the youngest (Vinay), from Isabelle to Michaela, he treated us all as his most precious treasures. He loved to spend time with all of us – regardless of whether or not we could speak his language.
Some of my memories of appachen are shared across all of us. It seems to me that we grandkids have a fondness for parotta, and appachen fulfilled that desire by having warm parotta ready for us each day. I loved banana chips and appacha would have chips ready for us when we arrived from America. As Roy mentioned last night, I had the privilege of standing and watching my grandfather prepare a chicken for dinner and then letting that chicken run around the yard with its head cut off. I was also reminded last night about those steps that Roy mentioned and watching those busses flying by on the unpaved road with their horns blaring. These memories will always remain and will remind me of what a loving and caring man he was.

Even though we didn’t have long conversations, appachen never let that affect the relationship we had and his deep love for me. And without speaking hardly any words, he taught me so many lessons on being a man who loves the Lord. One particular lesson that I have learned was about prayer. He has prayed for each and every one of us, by name multiple times, throughout his lifetime. As you have seen and heard and likely experienced first-hand, Appachen was a true warrior for God. His prayers resonated in our home; his words of encouragement to anyone in need were a shining example of how a godly man lives and humbly seeks after God.

Appachen could pray [literally] for 30 minutes straight, which felt like eternity as a kid…especially when there was a Bulls game on that I really wanted to see. As a young kid, that was painful…but 25 years later, those prayers remain in my heart. Recently, over the past few holidays or when our family would get together for a special occasion, I started recording only one thing – when appachen would pray. His words, his fervor, his passion in talking to his Heavenly Father will always be an example to me.

Another memory of him is that his smile lit up a room. As my dad mentioned yesterday, he has an amazing smile…as I was going through the hundreds of pictures that we have of him, one thing caught my attention...Appachen has a truly inspiring smile. His eyes light up and there is true joy within his soul. No matter the circumstance, no matter the situation you could sense the joy in his heart. Not the fickle happiness that we may experience from time to time. But true joy – the gift of the Holy Spirit that comes from a deep and meaningful relationship with God.

And he had much to be joyful for. His five children have grown to be accomplished in more than one way – in the church, in the workplace and through their own families. Joy because he was blessed with ten grandchildren who adore him and miss him so. What a blessing for us as a family that he was able to attend two of his grandchildren’s weddings and see 3 great-grandchildren born into this world. What a blessing for my dad to have appachen attend and celebrate his own retirement.

Susan and I loved to see his eyes light up with joy over these last several months when we would bring his great-grandkids, Isabelle and Evan, to the nursing home to just sit in the bed with him, draw pictures, sing him worship songs or just simply give him a hug.

As I think back on the life that appachen led, I’m reminded of the simplicity of this life. No phones, TVs, running water, the basic things we take for granted here. His life consisted of his family and his faith. What a great reminder that we are placed on this earth for only one purpose – to worship and serve our Almighty God; a purpose I too often allow the unimportant stuff to get in my way of worshipping and serving our God.

Some very dear friends of ours shared a children’s book with Isabelle and Evan to help them understand heaven a little bit in light of Appachen’s passing. A short section in the book reminded me of the life that appachen led – “sometimes we think we need stuff, but it’s just more weight for us to carry. Our best stuff doesn’t weigh anything at all – stuff like love, family, friends, and faith. That’s where our real blessings are.”

I’ll end with this last thought - there was something much more important to him than his family – his God.

Appachen was a child of God. He believed in the gospel.  He could have hope in his dark hours because of the promises that God made to him through the gospel. I am thankful that his children and grandchildren read him the Bible even when he couldn’t those days in the nursing home and hospital. I am thankful that the gates of Heaven opened and Jesus welcomed him as his children sang praise songs and prayed together to their Heavenly Father. I am thankful that he is now seeing the fulfillment of those hopes in Heaven. He is no longer struggling. He is no longer hurting. He will never hurt or fear again. He is in the land of blessing and unending joy. And knowing that gives me great encouragement and peace. I encourage you to have faith as he did, and draw strength from the gospel as he did. We will greatly miss him, but what a blessing to know that his time here with us is only a “hallway” to the amazing celebration he’s experiencing in heaven for all eternity.

When we told Evan that veliya-appacha was in heaven, he said two things:

        1) Susan likes to teach the kids worship songs and Evan has recently learned a song that he continues to sing the chorus to. During our bedtime prayer the night before Appachen passed, I reminded Evan to pray for veliya-appacha and that he wasn’t doing well. Evan looked me in the eyes and sang – “there may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning…” - It amazes me how God uses even my 3 year old to speak truth to me.

         2) When we told both kids that appachan was in heaven, Evan immediately said that he wanted to go there right then and there. Part of the reason he wanted to go there might have been because we mentioned that veliya-appacha was probably doing cartwheels with Jesus – but nonetheless, his desire to be with his veliya-appacha is shared by all of his family. What a blessing it is, as a family, to have that promise and hope that one day we’ll be doing cartwheels with appacha.  Dancing with our heavenly Father – a place where there is no pain, no fear, and no worry – just pure joy.

I swell with pride with the thought of how many lives that appachen has impacted. Just witnessing the wake yesterday and you all here is a testament to his strong faith and commitment to you all. However, I’m reminded that I should not be proud of my appachen as much as I should boast in Christ at the work he did through my appachen.

Thank you and God bless.